You Are Doing Better Than You Think

You are scrolling through Instagram for the third time that morning and you come across a friend’s post of them and their big friend group on a beach at some resort in Thailand. The sunset is the perfect backdrop and with their huge smiles plastered across their faces and their matching sun dresses, they are clearly living life. The picture could not be any more Pinterestific. You double tap, as is customary, and because you are not a hater.

The next post is a reel of your coworker living it up at Fête de la Musique, champagne in hand, singing along to that one Jay-Z & Kanye West song. You’ve always secretly wondered if you’re earning the same wages, because this is their sixth holiday this year (not that you’ve been counting). 

You like it and move on to the next post. It is a uni friend sharing how they just bought their first home and car at 25. You’re still struggling to save for a house deposit and just failed your second attempt at the driving test. It’s a stark reminder of how far they’ve come compared to you. You double tap anyway, because you really are happy for them… but you close your phone with a sigh.

Your phone may be off, but what doesn't leave you are the new subconscious benchmarks of happiness and beliefs that have entered your mind as you scrolled through the highlight reels of everyone else's lives. At 25, you still live at home in your childhood bedroom, you don't have a car, you're saving for a house deposit, which is the reason you haven't set foot on a plane this year, and yet buying a home still seems so out of reach. You wonder if you're a failure or falling behind. Because look at everyone else, right?

Let me tell you a bit about “everyone else.” Most are in the exact same boat as you. Here's how I know.

The median salary in Ireland is €40,000. And according to a study (yes, it’s a decade old, so take it with a grain of salt), only about 20–25% of Irish workers earn over €50,000. One in four Irish people don’t even have €500 saved for a rainy day. When I shared this stat with my audience, more than a few people told me that not even one person in their friend group had up to €500 tucked away for an emergency.

It takes 3 to 5 years to save for a deposit in Ireland. We have the second highest cost of living in the European Union. We are all feeling the pressure, and even more so if you're someone paying “Black tax” and sending money home to support your family.

I once saw a quote on Instagram that said, “Stop comparing yourself to people with different support systems than you.” ,which resonated deeply with me. I’d go even further and say: stop comparing yourself to people who have different goals than you.

You’re allowed to want that soft life. You deserve to take winter vacations to Bali to escape the Irish cold. You’re allowed to want the independence that comes with having your own home or a driver’s license. You’re allowed to party it up in Paris or go to DLT Malta. Let’s be real for a minute, most of the things you see on Instagram and I just listed? You could probably afford them too.

But here’s the truth: they just might not align with what you’re working toward right now.

I remember coming across the term “opportunity cost” in my first year in secondary school in my business class. It’s followed me through my personal and professional life. Oxford defines it as “the loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.” Michelle Obama echoed this sentiment when talking about the sacrifices she had to make on her journey to the White House: You can have it all, but not at the same time. Keep in mind, she was the First Lady of one of the most powerful countries in the world and yet that power and position came with an opportunity cost. 

You could take that all-inclusive trip to Bali, but it might be the only holiday you can afford that year. You might save every penny for your first home and end up sleeping on a mattress for the first year because you spent your life savings on the deposit. That’s still progress.

As long as your goals and values are aligned with what you want from life, you are already doing better than you think.

Because the only person you need to compete with is yourself. Not social media. Not your uni friends. Not your coworkers. Just you.

The next time you see someone else’s highlight reel on Instagram, ask yourself: Does this align with my goals? Would I really want to swap lives with this person? Their bank account? Their family situation? Their mental health?

Life has dealt us all a different set of cards and no matter how Instagrammable someone else's life seems, remember that most of what we see are the highlight reels. I am confident that if you spent as much time focusing on yourself and continuing to build systems that help you reach your goals, whether that's focusing on earning more so you can save more and have more disposable income, as you do scrolling through other people's highlight reels, you'd be unstoppable. 

Because as long as you are focusing on your own lane, you’re already winning.